Miscellaneous

Back to Miscellaneous

Jokes

Viagra - Quickies

• Bingo it works
  
  
  A man at a nursing home took Viagra and went to the lunch room, where the residents were playing Bingo. To get their attention he yelled out, "SUPER SEX!, Super Sex!" The ladies yelled back: "I want the SOUP!", "Soup, Please." "Oh, I'd love some soup!".
  

• Fix it
  
  
  Generic Viagra is sold under the name Fix-a-Flat.
  

• Viagra goes Spanish
  
  
  Viagra in Spanish, we're told, is "viejos agradecidos" or "greated old guys" (sic).
  

• Thermometer
  
  
  A bank sign in Houston during this heat wave complains: "Who put Viagra in the thermometer?"
  

• Caution
  
  
  Did you hear about the first death from an overdose of Viagra? A man took twelve pills and his wife died
  .
  
• Oral dose
  
  
  Then there was the man who got his Viagra tablet stuck in his throat and suffered from a stiff neck.
  
  
• Try it
  
  
  Have you tried the new hot beverage, Viagraccino? One cup and you're up all night.
  

• Light a Bulb
  
  
  How many doses of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb? One little tablet, and it's a whole new bulb.
  

• Power
  
  
  Men are being warned not to take Viagra with nitrates after five gentlemen in India did so and changed the balance of power in the region.
  
  
• Virus Alert
  
  
  The Viagra computer virus turns your floppy disk into a hard drive. The Viagra Super virus then sucks all your data off the hard drive.
  

• See a Doctor
  
  
  If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor!
  
  
• Laundry Service
  
  
  A guy named Tom emailed us that he left his Viagra tablet in his shirt pocket when he sent it to the laundry. Now, his shirt is too stiff to wear.
  
  
• Disneyland
  
  
  Viagra is now being compared to Disneyland - a one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
  

• Directions
  
  
  Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.
  

• Titanic
  
  
  New plans are being made to raise the Titanic. Experts plan to pump it full of Viagra, and expect it to raise right up.
  

• Raising the dead
  
  
  For years the medical professional has been looking after the ill, to make them better. Now, with Viagra, they're raising the dead!
  

• Seniors honeymoon spot
  
  
  Have you heard where many seniors are opting to spend their second or even third honeymoons?
  Viagra Falls.
  
  
• Stiff neck
  
  
  Last night I tried a Viagra for the first time. When I swallowed it, it got stuck in my throat. This morning I awoke with a stiff neck!
  
  
• Cross breed
  
  
  What do you get when you cross Viagra with Rogaine?
  Don King.
  
  
• Hardened criminals
  
  
  Following the approval of Viagra by the UK's health authorities, the first shipment arrived yesterday at Heathrow airport, but was hijacked on the way to the pharmacy distribution warehouse.
  Scotland Yard has warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals
  
  
• Computer term
  
  
  Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
  
  
• Combo
  
  
  I take Viagra and Prozac together. If I can't get it up, I don't care.
  
  
• Scientific term
  
  
  What's the clinical term for men who need Viagra?
  Myccoxafailure.
  
  
• 3rd degree burns
  
  
  Did you hear about the 13 year old kid who took three Viagra pills?
  They had to rush him to the hospital because he had 3rd degree burns on his hand.
  
  
• Difference
  
  
  What is the difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara Falls.